Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday Morning

Friday morning and another event unfolds...What a long night and a wake up with Zeke still at the hospital... It's a strange feeling and an empty feeling as well.. I'm so use to Zeke coming up next to me and leaning in ..checking to see if I'm awake..You can feel his wet nose just touching your face and of course that hot breath..OMG.. at that point he knows your waking next comes the feeling of the head leaning on your chest..yeah you better get up cause the next attempt is the foot coming up and Zap you got it.. Not realizing that he just gave you a good shot.. That would wake any one up..
I'm beginning to want to just go back in time..however, that's kind of impossible..and then you think.."Come On, I mean get real..but it's have become a "Dawg person "  I'd say maybe possible I've been crossed over cause critters have played a very big role in my life..they were and are my world.. I've devoted 3/4 of my life time to the betterment of the breed...and if you believe in re incarnation.. hell I'm gonna come back as a "Dawg"..wonder if I'll be leader of the pack   ...

My mind is just going away with itself..kind of eases the pain you feel in your heart..does it make it easy..?   not really sure but it buys you time ...but yesterday nothing could buy any  thing.. I waited and waited for the phone to ring... I wanted to hear how Zeke was and when could he come home ?
Finally the call came and at first I couldn't even concentrate on what the good Doctor was saying.. I just couldn't hear .. I became nerve deaf.. My fears were taking over .. I don't think I've ever had that happen..not that I recall.. even when I was having all crazy things happen to me.. I could handle news..but it seems with how things happened..I just emotionally became unbalanced..
I guess the Doctor realized it and just starting talking slowly to me and then saying.. "Zeke was doing better, he was holding his own.." .. I started to answer her and then came what they felt happened..

Zeke has what is called..Hemorrhagic gastroenteritis.This happens suddenly ..some times you have some incite other times it's quick and deadly.. Now I heard those words and I started to tremble inside.. I just knew when I was holding Zeke and all that blood coming out of him.. He was bleeding out completely..  Next I heard.. that Zeke was having Arrhythmia's...that they were trying to control that and slow his heart rate down...Now this could be caused by what happened...or something that he has now developed... 

I know from the last incident that I had with Zeke back in February when I had to have him neutered because of Prostatic Hyperplasia that his heart was excellent and no signs of anything... At that point the Doctor asked me to fax all that data.. Which I had to call the doctor in Florida as I couldn't remember where anything I had was.. 

It's strange how as much as you have things together at times you become undone...misplaced..confused...and can't find anything.. all I had to do was access my files on line..but I couldn't think .. I didn't think... but thank goodness Allison in Florida was kind enough to send everything across...

This Doctor Laura Tseng is very good..she took her time with me..explained in details and then told me that the Cardio Doctor would be now with Zeke.. That he might have a problem with his heart after all this point she couldn't say..but they would be continuing monitoring him and still giving him fluids..

After our conversation I sat back and then went to research everything.. something I was trained to do was a part of my career.. a researcher.. and as much as I studied and knew I was "DUH" when it came to what happened.. It kind of made me aware how much our minds can lose things when pain begins to inflict fear.. Is that a kindness of mother nature?  dunno..

Later during the day I got several calls..and emails from friends and sistahs which I so appreciated..I still couldn't get things done...I was tossing with going to see Zeke ...but I stopped because if Zeke saw me he might become wanting to be with him would do him more harm..I can't be selfish I have to wait this one out..

Now this morning here I am..getting ready for my jaunt to head up to St Mary's hospital to have my Ultra Sound done..Gawd this is just a mess..all at the same time... I called late last night to talk with the nurse and see how my Zeke was doing...Hearing he's holding his own still kind of makes me queasy but I'll take that cause that's another day he's holding on... I did let her know that I would have to talk with  Doc Laura when I got she was gonna call me this morning...

Today time isn't moving fast enough...but with God's help and all the support from family and friends I'll make it through.. I am forever grateful for all of you.. you just never know how much all of your prayers and kind words mean.. As we always said on the forum.."You are never alone, no matter what someone is always here for you "... and that is so true... I haven't been on the forum in ages with all things happening..but my blog has been my outlet..crazy as it seems ..but when I write I feel better..guess it's the release of what's heavy in our hearts...don't even go there about my brain..cause I think it's all gray matter with a few dents right now !

Oh one good thing...Diane called me to let me know the house in Florida is under's being painted.. and I even spoke with Dick and Betsy.. they are watching it take place too... and we did enjoy our laughs as I told them .. "I was doing it for their enjoyment, so they could look out their window and see pretty "...Ha... even joked that I was bringing up the value.. that's kind of an on going joke with us.. but I'll be anxious to see it myself..
So that's what's happening so far and then I can't wait to say..."The rest is history"... I sure hope I don't ever have to repeat this history...someone said one time.. and I don't remember who...but it was like this.. "We come in this world to make a wrong right and if we don't get it right we have to repeat it"...well forget that !!!!  I don't ever want to repeat this part AGAIN...
Ok, I'm off to get my coffee I smell the aroma...Thank you Paulette and Sharlotte.. Mitch..(I didn't forget those kind words you sent me) Sharon, Ava, Lizzie, Vickie. Carol All of you  "Sistahs on our Women's RV Forum.. Thank you from me and Zeke.. my world would be empty with out all of you.. I can't wait to meet you all...and that will day it will...but you all know you are welcomed in my abode...come on down to Florida..cause I can't wait to go back myself...
God Bless All of you !

PS..Here is the hospital  that Zeke is at..I think we put a wing on this !

1 comment:

  1. Still holding you up in prayer, Zee. Thanks for the update.