The Night Before Easter

The Night before Easter and here I sit at my computer.. I had a decent day as my friend
Jane came over for an early dinner..She treated me to Cpt D's which by the way was pretty
darn good.

We sat and chatted and I know she was feeling down as I've been sick and she was home
alone. Jane too suffers from loneliness. Although John and she fought like cats and dogs
they were definitely a match.

We had a good day and a good evening watching an old classic.. Abbott and Costello meets
Frankenstein  LOL One of my favorites by the way.  As time grew close to her leaving I
could sense her getting frightened.

These are issues that are really big with us women.  Men handle it much better I think because
they are just use to being the "Get on with it" and having to always be the main decision maker
through out our century.

I as strong as I was would always run things by Robert. not that I was incapable of making
decisions, but I felt two heads were better than one on outlooks. So as the years went by
it became the "Norm" for me... Now, I'm in a dither, I hesitate too much. I don't know if that
will change but I'm making the best of it.

Now tomorrow is Easter and Jane will be coming over and most likely all week which will be
good for both of us.. Some days might be great and others, well we can get into it but we don't
get all bent out of shape.

My illness is coming along but slowly..My hacking continues and my sleep is not long so during
the day I'm getting naps... I need them all. My stomach is hopefully gonna straighten out as that
frightens me. Trying not to go in panic overdrive and just trying to let things go.

My prayers are about giving me strength and courage and helping me understand and most of all
forgiveness.. I always ask Why, maybe I have to stop that..but I'm not sure I can. I miss Robert so
very much and I hate the feeling of non existence. I try to keep his memory going again as I look
around it's empty...Sucks !

Now I'm gonna attempt to get in bed and hope and pray I can get to sleep without having a majoy
hacking attack or other wise it's back to the Chair !

Sweet dreams and Pray for everyone and pass it forward