It's Been To Too Long

It's Been To Too Long and a lot has happen in my life....I'm not even sure where to begin.,

I'll start off with the loss of my best friend and soul mate,  My husband Robert.
He battled Squamous Cell Carcinoma during the year 2015 through part of 2016 and on July 12th
2016 at 11:00am he passed in my arms.

I can't even begin to even explain the horrendous ordeal he and I went through. The mistakes,
the nightmares and the Ego of one of the top Doctors at the University Of Penn in Philadelphia, Pa..
All that I can tell you, it was the worst experience of my life.

Now here I sit, almost 2 years later and I still feel like it was yesterday. When does it stop hurting?
When do I ever stop missing him ? These are just simple questions that it seems no one can really
answer.

Do I question God, for having my Robert go through such suffering, a decent man who loved the
Lord more than anything in this world .  Am I bitter ?  You bet !  Because there is such scum that
walks the earth and does horrible acts of violence and nothing happens to them other than maybe they
get caught and thrown in jail and "We" take care of them and treat them humanly.

I'm trying to keep my faith strong. I pray every night asking for guidance and maybe I really don't mean it. I'm not even sure myself. I have to make a life for myself and my fears are intense. Frightened of just about everything.

From being a strong woman to becoming a mess. I'm almost 75 and trying to regain myself. Worried about the "what if". Fear of unknown. Then I ask, "Is this what God has intended for me ?"

So here I am after many years (have no clue where they went) sitting down and writing on my Blog.
Not even sure how to go about things.Hoping maybe my first attempt will work.

I remember I use to every night come sit at my computer before going to bed and write about my day and some were funny and some were, "Are you kidding me". but it always helped me. Maybe that's what I should start doing. I'll give it a try. I can't go back, too much pain but I can go forward
perhaps that will help me.

Now how to even get all this to come out ok and even put in a few pictures every now and then.

Tally Ho ! Onward