Late Monday Night

Late Monday Night and here I sit.. My day wasn't bad I actually got out and ran a few
errands and went grocery shopping at my favorite Winn Dixie. I was hungry so you
know I bought a few goods in .

Came up was upbeat and my new Humming bird feeder came in and a new gadget to
help cheer me up.. Nothing major just one of those bag holders for the Zip Locks .. which
I happen to think it's neat.

Then got a call from Jane as she had went to her Flea Market deals and she wasn't feeling
to great so she was staying home...while in the mean time I had gotten a chuck roast and
through in the Crock Pot..turns out it was not good.. One of those days where the meat
just has no flavor no matter what you do to it...but sure did smell good while cooking .

Later that night I got a case of the blues and boy did it hit me..It just sneaks up on you
before you know it and holding back tears is sometimes not a good thing. I got angry at
myself and ticked off about everything that's happened in life up to the last minute.

Then the Voice came on and I was glad to watch that and was recording American Idol
I figured between those two shows it would cheer me up till I went to turn on the latter one
and my recorder didn't record.. Bummer....taking a nose dive now..

I've got to be able to shake this off, I mean I miss Robert every day and every minute.. I know
his life would have been a living hell had he lived and lingered.. I want to shout out..but who
do I shout at.. I was angry with God and that's dumb but I had to blame someone.

I've felt so alone but I'm struggling to climb out of this pity hole I'm digging myself into..I mean
any long rope I can pull myself up with I'll gladly grab. My days are dragging cause I wasn't
feeling well and that's starting to change as I'm getting better but my cough still in a pain.

I'm looking over at my bed and wondering am I going to be able to go to bed or is it gonna be
a struggle and then get up and go in my big chair..Something has got to give.

Now I'm gonna turn off my computer and crawl in bed say my prayers and beg for forgiveness
and pray that we all start to see things change for the better..